Good Stuff XXVII

Quix*o*tic - Anonymous Face
Hustlers - Migraine
Jolie Holland - Old Fashioned Morphine
Grizzly Bear - Little Brother (Electric)
Grizzly Bear - Knife (CSS cover)
Fujiya & Miyagi - Rot
William S Fischer - Patience is a Virtue
Outofsight - White Rooms
Menomena - Water
9th Cloud - Fresh Style One
9th Cloud - Fucking Square Deal

http://www.mediafire.com/?csdtc0ztehi

Good Stuff XXVI

Black Dice - Roll Up
Black Dice - Kokomo
Krazy Baldhead - Bill's Break
The Hafler Trio - Suppressed Notes
The Hafler Trio - All Largely Propoganda
Fairuz - Kamata Mariyam
Carter Burwell - The Return from the Hospital
Saul Williams - Penny for a Thought
Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings - How Do I Let A Good Man Down?
Oh No - Gladius
Oh No - Bouncers
Oh No - My Luck
Oh No - Exp Out the Ox
Oh No - Action
Raymond Scott - Twilight in Turkey
Raymond Scott - Moment Musical
Chrissy Zebby Tembo - I've Been Losing
Chrissy Zebby Tembo - Feeling Good

http://www.mediafire.com/?oyttxw41lzx

Good Stuff XXV

Pram - The Silk Road
Battles - Tonto (Four Tet Remix)
Radical Face - Glory
Ms John Soda - Hands
Carlos D'Alessio - Delicatessen (Gererique Debut)
Carlos D'Alessio - Tika Tika Walk
Carlos D'Alessio - Duo
Carlos D'Alessio - Dreams of Old Hawaii
Dennis Coffey - Main Theme (Black Belt Jones)
Dennis Coffey - Opening Theme
Dennis Coffey - Drama
Dennis Coffey - Super Slick
Boards of Canada - June 9th
David Byrne - Main Title Theme (The Last Emperor)
Susumu Yokota - Kavano Hotorino Kinoshitade
Brian Eno - Needle in the Camel's Eye
Joy Division - Insight
Joy Division - A Means to an End

http://www.mediafire.com/?cdyfoxmwjyy

Slovene Presidential Elections

The second (and final) round of the Slovene Presidential elections are tomorrow, and these are the two candidates. They both look friendly enough to me, but apparently the guy on the bottom (Lojze Peterle) is something of a centre-right douchebag - whereas the fellow on top is a centre-left former law professor and UN ambassador, and spells his name (Danilo Türk) with an umlaut, which is a big plus in my book (regardless of the fact that there is no umlaut in the Slovene language).

Their campaign slogans translate to something along the lines of:

"You can count on me. Dr Danilo Türk, a president that unites."
"For president, a president for all."
 

Good Stuff XXIV

Benoît Charest - Belleville rendez-vous
Boat Club - Warmer Climes
Pole - Pferd (Melchior Productions' Zodiac Mix)
Seabear - Good Morning Scarecrow
Seabear - Hands Remember
Jonquil - Sudden Sun
Jonquil - Babe, So Now Why No?
The Cloud Room - Hey Now You
The Cloud Room - We Sleep in the Ocean
Le Loup - To the Stars! To the Night!
Le Loup - We Are the Gods! We Are Wolves!
Le Loup - Breathing Rapture
The Octopus Project - Truck
The Octopus Project - An Evening with Rthrtha
The Octopus Project - I Saw the Bright Shines
Celebration - Fly the Fly
As Mercenárias - Inimigo
Chance - Samba de Morro

http://www.mediafire.com/?qfnmtzzjded

Good Stuff XXIII

Guitar - Just Like Honey
Guitar - Here
Guitar - Sunkissed
Talking Heads - Born Under Punches
Metronomy - You Could Easily Have Me
Metronomy - This Could Be You (It Is)
Death in Vegas - Dirge
MimiCof - Seeds from the Sky
Band of Horses - Islands on the Coast
Small Sails - Somnambulist
Small Sails - Games Without End
Tickley Feather - The Revolution
Pikelet - They Call It Love? ...Wow
Pikelet - A Bunch
Deep Throat OST - She's Got to Have It

http://www.mediafire.com/?mytbmwgtxwb

Bollywood Posters Are Awesome

I'm pretty sure that this poster speaks for itself, so I'll just add that these were all taken on 26 February 2005 in Thiruvananthapuram (which you probably know as Trivandrum - its colonial name), India....

Good Stuff XXII

Minimatic - La Raie O Milieu
Kid Loco - The Jack O. Party
Georges Deligny - Panique Au Salon
Radiohead - Bodysnatchers
Radiohead - Reckoner
Radiohead - Videotape
Elephant Parade - Goodbye
Elephant Parade - For You
Simone White - The Beep Beep Song
Tunng - Take
Letters Letters - Everyone's Afraid of Fear
Math and Physics Club - Do You Keep A Diary
Citay - Little Kingdom
The Straw Bear Band - Falling, Dripping
The Straw Bear Band - Dream No. 2
Harry Thumann - Sphinx
Shinichi Osawa - Star Guitar
Shinichi Osawa - Amu Nu Ku Tuu

http://www.mediafire.com/?sxyvmycvtmg

Good Stuff XXI

TTC - Nonscience
TTC - De Pauvres Riches
TTC - Teste ta Comprehension
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends (Franz Ferdinand Version)
Kid Loco - III
Quincy Jones - Soul Bossa Nova
Cepia - Hoarse
Ibrahim Ferrer - Ay Candela
Compay Segundo - Chan Chan
Alejandro Otaola - Metrópolis
Seefeel - Plainsong
Makiko Hirabayashi Trio - City Murmur
Solvent - Hello Pop

http://www.mediafire.com/?yynwedhdwtt

Good Stuff XX

Isan - Akatombo
Isan - Cinnabar
Blockhead - Not So OK Corral
Blockhead - Get Your Regal On
Saul Williams - Lalala
Iron & Wine - Boy With A Coin
The Hollies - Carrie-Anne
Calvin Johnson - What Was Me
The Monks - I Can't Get Over You
The Monks - He Went Down to the Sea
Calvin Johnson - Your Eyes
Liars - It Fit What I Was A Kid
Harmonia - Sonnenschein
Harmonia - Dino
Isan - Singing Bowl
People Press Play - These Days
Dengue Fever - Thanks A Lot
Dengue Fever - New Year's Eve

http://www.mediafire.com/?5mc1hcjmyo5

Best of....Sri Lanka

I can't say enough good things about Sri Lanka: Great people, incredible sights, entirely manageable, relatively inexpensive (especially if you go there within three weeks of a catastrophic tsunami that pretty much destroys the entire southern coast and deters the handful of tourists who weren't already deterred by a decades-long civil war). Once again my only regret is the lack of a decent camera (and the 30 day limit on my visa - I'm an American for Christ's sake, what the fuck?).....

Good Stuff XIX

Mom - Skipping Stone
Björk - Hyperballad (Brodsky Quartet Version)
Björk - Human Behaviour (Bootleg)
B. Fleischmann - 02/00
B. Fleischmann - Guided By Beats
Flying Lotus - Pet Monster Shot Glass
Dabrye - Won
Dabrye - D-Town Tabernacle Choir
Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew - Gang Bang Suicide
Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew - Safety Bricks
ABX - Bros Before Whoas (Panda Bear/Black Rob mashup)
Library Tapes - Dis Dagg Dimma
Old Time Relijun - Mystery Language

http://www.mediafire.com/?3nmtrwtmxgf

Good Stuff XVIII

Out Hud - JGNE
Solvent - A Panel of Experts
Lali Puna - Rapariga Da Banheira
Lali Puna - Antena Trash
Lali Puna - 50 Faces Of
Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
Guitar - Sunday Afternoon at Tamagawa River
Guitar - Naoki
Whitest Boy Alive - Burning
Whitest Boy Alive - Above You
Madlib - Indian Hump
Madlib - (Variations)
Susumu Yokota - My Energy
Susumu Yokota - Siva Dance
Susumu Yokota & Rothko - Lit By Moonlight

http://www.mediafire.com/?jv0x1uuc0zz

Best of....Haiti

Here are the best* of the photos from my trip to Haiti in the winter of 2003. I spent a month (minus the week or so I was in the Dominican Republic) with my friend Evens' family in the Delmas neighbourhood of Port-au-Prince. Since the slums of the Haitian capital aren't exactly the safest place for a scrawny defenceless white dude to walk around by himself, the courtyard in front of Socrate's (the DMX-looking fellow above) two-room flat is well represented. Luckily the courtyard was almost constantly abuzz with a bunch of incredibly photogenic kids doing normal photogenic kid things - like cooking over open flames, hand-washing laundry, playing with guns, training roosters for cock fights and striking various hip hop inspired poses for the aforementioned scrawny defenceless white dude to photograph.

*Most of these were taken with a super crappy $25 point and shoot camera that I bought in Little Havana the day before my flight, while the rest were taken with a slightly less crappy APS point and shoot that was about 5 years old at the time. I'm pretty sure that I also scanned them on a fairly low setting. Point being, the quality of these is pretty much shit, enjoy.

Good Stuff XVII

Ugly Casanova - Things I Don't Remember
Holy Shit - Tokyo Gamblers
The Crystals - Then He Kissed Me
The Ponys - Sad Eyes
The Ponys - Let's Kill Ourselves
Justice - Valentine
Lullatone - Leaves Falling
State River Widening - Desertesque
Koop - Koop Island
Koop - Come to Me
Kieran Hebden & Steve Reid - The Sun Never Sets
Sunset Rubdown - The Mending of the Gown
The Somnambulants - Burning Daylight
The Somnambulants - The Facts
The Somnambulants - Evacuation
Caribou - Crayon
Caribou - Jacknuggeted

http://www.mediafire.com/?w3bwjmyd1oz

Good Stuff XVI

Gorillaz - Fire Coming Out of a Monkey's Head
The Brunettes - Small Town Crew
The Russian Futurists - Our Pen's Out of Ink
The Russian Futurists - When the Sun Drops Like an Anvil
Laura Veirs - Pink Light
Vampires' Sound Incorporated - There's No Satisfaction
Serge Gainsbourg & Bridget Bardot - Everybody Loves My Baby
Mus - La Vida
The Books - Fralité
Bansky/Danger Mouse - That's Hot
The Knife - Neon
The Knife - Kino
To Rococo Rot - Cosimo
Add N to (X) - Monster Bobby
Prefuse 73 - Pagina Seis
To Rococo Rot - Geheimnis Eines Mantels
Solvent - Wish

http://www.mediafire.com/?8ztetmbwomm

Who Knew that Belgians were Funny?

I tend to associate Belgians with their delicious waffles and bitter bureaucracy, but apparently at least a couple of them have decent senses of humour. An advert for some new TV station shows fat hippy Jesus swilling JD and groovin to Franz Ferdinand - which pissed off the League of Pederasts, who are well-known to prefer Jim Beam and the Arctic Monkeys.

Good Stuff XV

Professor Murder - The Mountain
Modest Mouse - White Lies and Yellow Teeth
The Beach Boys - God Only Knows
The Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby
The Beach Boys - Come Go With Me
The Band - The Weight
The Temptations - My Girl
Final Fantasy - This is the Dream of Win and Regine
Final Fantasy - The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead
The Coral - Jacqueline
Her Space Holiday - Lydia
John Vanderslice - The Parade
Keren Ann - Lay Your Head Down
Modest Mouse - Put Your Dukes Up
The Temptations - I Want A Love I Can See
Belle & Sebastian - You're Just A Baby
MIA - Bamboo Banger
MIA - Come Around
Raymond Scott - Baltimore Gas & Electric Co
Raymond Scott - IBM MT/ST: The Paperwork Explosion

http://www.mediafire.com/?1t4wkd3bmnj

Happy Birthday Decrepit Old Japanenese Man!

Tomoji Tanabe is obviously ecstatic about not being dead yet. I hope that when I turn 112 I get some flowers and $870 (or 2¢ per day) too....

Good Stuff XIV

Caribou - Medium Sized Working Dog
Aoki Takamasa - Golden Town with Sunglasses
Jane - Slipping Away
Omar Souleyman - Leh Jani
Hot Chip - The Bell Ringers
Ray Noble Orchestra - Midnight, with the Stars and You
Ray Noble Orchestra - It's All Forgotten Now
Henry Hill & The Gleneagles Hotel Band - Home
Bob Dylan - Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts (Original)
The Go! Team - Ladyflash
Oh No! Oh My! - Walk in the Park
Oh No! Oh My! - I Have No Sister
Montag - Going Places
The Gossip - Dark Lines
Do Make Say Think - Classic Noodlanding
Broadcast - The Book Lovers

Some Czech Advertisments

Good Stuff XIII

Mahjongg - The Stubborn Horse
King Khan & The Shrines - Welfare Bread
Caribou - Sandy
Caribou - Melody Day
Out Hud - One Life to Leave
Dan Deacon - The Crystal Cat
Professor Murder - Free Stress Test
Stereo Total - Do the Bambi
Stereo Total - Europa Neurotisch
Nomo - Nu Tones
St Vincent - Paris is Burning
St Vincent - Marry Me
Yann Tiersen - La Veillees
Animal Collective - Fireworks
Pram - Bewitched

Good Stuff XII

Antony and the Johnsons - Hope There's Someone
Wax Tailor - The Games You Play
Will Oldham - Antagonism
Tinariwen - 63
Me & You - Brown Paper Bag
Me & You - Sneaker Thief
Kid Creole & The Coconuts - K Pasa-Pop I
Liquid Liquid - Cavern
James White & The Blacks - Contort Yourself
Working for a Nuclear Free City - Troubled Son
Julianna Barwick - Dancing with Friends
Killer Mike - That's Life
Pulsallama - Ungawa Pt 2
Bat for Lashes - Trophy

Good Stuff XI

The Boy Least Likely To - Be Gentle With Me
The Fiery Furnaces - Up in the North
Social Distortion - Story of My Life
Yann Tiersen & Shannon Wright - Sound the Bells
Tegan and Sara - Relief Next to Me
Thurston Moore - Queen Bee and Her Pals
CocoRosie - K-Hole
The Postmarks - Goodbye
Seu Jorge - Don't
Tinariwen - Cler Achel
Cornelius - Breezin'
Modest Mouse - You're the Good Things
Ratatat - Party & Bullshit
The Radio Dept - It's Personal
Modest Mouse - Here It Comes
The Sugarcubes - Birthday
Nino Rota - Amarcord

Some More Slovene Advertisments

Good Stuff X

The Fratellis - Henrietta
Kings of Leon - Knocked Up
Roots Manuva - Witness (I Hope)
Interpol - All Fired Up
Little Beaver - Everybody's Got Some Dues to Pay
Colleen - Ritournelle
Arthur Russell - Keeping Up
Ramona Córdova - Inside the Gypsy Bar
Ramona Córdova - Giver's Reply
!!! - Yadnus
The Chemical Brothers - We Are Night
Field Music - Tones of Town
Clint Mansell - The Last Man
Husky Rescue - City Lights

Good Stuff IX

Nino Rota - L'Harem
Nino Rota - Guido E Luisa/Nostalgico Swing
Moussa Doumbia - Keleya
Super Eagles - Love's a Real Thing
Enzo Enzo - Juste Quelqu'un de Bien
Paris Combo - Fibre de Verre
Jackie Mittoo - James Bond
Serge Gainsbourg - Pauvre Lola
Ponies in the Surf - Gov't Brand #2
Tujiko Noriko - 26th Floor
Mulatu Astatke - Yèkèrmo Sèw
Dizzee Rascal - Sirens
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
Chantal Goya - Tu M'as Trop Menti
Les Intrigantes - Faut Savoir
Rachid Taha - Barra Barra
Shitdisco - I Know Kung Fu
New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

Moon Over Fužine

Good Stuff VIII

Four Tet - Carmella
Four Tet - Breathe Me
Madvillain - Rhinestone Cowboy
Madvillain - Money Folder
Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated
Ramones - Do You Remember Rock N' Roll High School
Ramones - Judy is a Punk
Brian Wilson - Good Vibrations
White Magic - One-Note
Taken By Trees - Julia
Animal Collective - For Reverend Green
Aihiyo - Why the Two of Us Here
Os Mutantes - A Minha Menina
Os Mutantes - O Relógio

Good Stuff VII

Datarock - I Used to Dance with My Daddy
Engelbert Humperdinck - Can't Take My Eyes Off of You
Fred Astaire - Putting on the Ritz
Perry Como - Papa Loves Mambo
Sarah Vaughan - The Boy From Ipanema
Gene Kelly - Singin' in the Rain
Glenn Miller - In the Mood
Bing Crosby - Cheek to Cheek
Maps - You Don't Know Her Name
Maps - So Low So High
Radical Face - Welcome Home, Son
Electric President - Insomnia
Liars - Houseclouds
Liars - What Would They Know
Liars - Freak Out
Talkdemonic - Bering
Shitdisco - Reactor Party

Some Slovene Advertisments

Good Stuff VI

Patti Smith - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Electrelane - Saturday
Electrelane - At Sea
Electrelane - The Greater Times
Animal Collective - People
Au Revoir Simone - Back in Time
Au Revoir Simone - Through the Backyards of Our Neighbors
The Octopus Project - The Way Things Go
The Octopus Project - What They Found
White Rabbits - Kid On My Shoulders
White Rabbits - The Plot

Good Stuff V

Avey Tare & Kria Brekkan - Sasong
Husky Rescue - Summertime Cowboy
A Sunny Day in Glasgow - C'mon
Björk - Earth Intruders
Do Make Say Think - Frederica
Battles - Atlas
The Microphones - I Want to Blow
Caribou - People Eating Fruit
Caribou - Dundas, Ontario
Black Moth Super Rainbow - Forever Heavy
Gang Gang Dance - Egowar

Meet the President - Janez Drnovsek

Al Jazeera interviews the new-agey, cancer-stricken and apparently rather eccentric President of Slovenia.

Good Stuff IV

Ratatat - Lex
Broken Social Scene - Lover's Spit
Broken Social Scene - Da Da Da Da
Broken Social Scene - Stars and Sons
Broken Social Scene - Almost Crimes (Radio Kills Remix)
The Fiery Furnaces - I'm In No Mood
The Fiery Furnaces - Bitter Tea
The Fiery Furnaces - Benton Harbor Blues Again
Dntel - To A Fault
Dntel - Rock My Boat
Dntel - Breakfast in Bed

Good Stuff III

Asobi Seksu - Springs
Asobi Seksu - Nefi + Girly
Rickie Lee Jones - Circle in the Sand
Blonde Redhead - 23
Panda Bear - Take Pills
Panda Bear - Bros
Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
The Field - Silent
The Field - The Little Heart Beats So Fast

Mr Jowels

Fact: This dog is better than you, your friends and family and everyone else you've ever met....

Good Stuff II

Clinic - Jigsaw Man
The Books - None But Shining Hours
The Books - It Never Changes to Stop
The Books - An Owl With Knees
Califone - A Chinese Actor
Califone - Our Kitten Sees Ghosts
Califone - The Orchids
Sons and Daughters - Hunt
Ms John Soda - Solid Ground
Skalpel - 1958 (Skalpel Remix)
Out Hud - Story of the Whole Thing
Out Hud - The Bum's Paid
Out Hud - The L Train is a Swell Train...
The Rapture - Pieces of the People We Love
The Rapture - Get Myself Into It
Papercuts - Unavailable
Papercuts - Just Another Thing To Dust

Good Stuff I

Linda Scott - I've Told Every Little Star
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Mama, Won't You Keep Those Castles...
Arcade Fire - Black Mirror
Wendy Rene - After Laughter Comes Tears
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends
LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great
Isolée - Schrapnell
Isolée - Beau Mot Plage
Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good
Amy Winehouse - Rehab
Mahjongg - Jamdek
Mahjongg - Aluminum
Enon - The Nightmare of Atomic Men
Enon - Knock That Door
Enon - Kanon

Slovenia is not Slovakia

Contrary to popular belief, Slovenia and Slovakia are actually two completely different countries - strange but true. Please note, Exhibit A:



While both are located on the European continent and share the same first four letters of their names, that's pretty much where the similarities end. Not only is Slovenia the current residence of yours truly, but it's also objectively superior in pretty much every scientifically measurable category - look it up.

School for Scoundrels [4/10]

Jon Heder is my new least favourite "actor" - I have to say "actor" since whatever it is he does on the set can in no way be called acting. HE IS NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. Why do I feel like I'm the only one who's noticed this?

Blades of Glory [6/10]

Jon Heder doesn't completely ruin this flick with his "acting," but God help him if he didn't try his damdest. In all honestly though, I kind of respect the guy for getting as far as he has with absolutely zero acting ability - fucking incredible.

Smokin' Aces [3/10]

If a 14 year old kid who was obsessed with Lock Stock, Goddfellas and Ocean's Eleven, borrowed $80 million from his parents, and then wrote, cast and directed his own movie, the finished product would be almost identical to this ridiculous piece of shit - just an atrociously absurd film in every regard.

Jarhead [8/10]

I liked this flick a lot better the second time around. When I first watched it a couple of months ago, I couldn't get over how much it completely ripped off was inspired by Full Metal Jacket. However, When you go in knowing that it's essentially an updated version of Kubrick's dark comedy classic (just set during the Gulf War, with less subtle humour, a similar pop-inspired soundtrack, more CGI effects, and way more Jammie Foxx) it's a lot easier to appreciate how good it is. And at the end of the day I'd much rather watch a well done homage to a great film, then sit through horribly done "original" indie bullshit like Little Miss Sunshine or Me You and Everyone We Know.

Little Miss Sunshine [4/10]

Wow, my memory isn't what it used to be, but I cant remember a flick was more disappointing, that so completely failed to meet expectations, then this piece of crap. There was such a constant stream of absurdity, plot holes and nauseating pretentiousness that I probably had a "was that the dog or one of you?" grimace on my face for at least 80% of the movie. The only redeeming parts of this train wreck were Steve Carrel and Alan Arkin - even though I already knew most of Carrel's money lines thanks to worthless critics like Dana Stevens at Slate who can't write a review without quoting the best lines and giving away major plot points [note: this was before I decided to never again read a review if I have any desire to see a flick]. If the movie consisted entirely of their characters sitting in a coffee shop bullshitting for 90 minutes it would have been at least eight to nine times more enjoyable to watch - Alan Arkin especially, since all of the reviews I read barely mentioned him.

Proof [5/10]

I can't say for sure why it took me over ten years to realise that Gwyneth Paltrow is an absolutely atrocious actress, but I guess better late than never. Oh well. She definitely isn't helped by this film's horrible dialogue - perhaps it sounds better coming off a theatre stage - nor the fact that her character is 27 years old (and even younger in the numerous flashbacks). Oh and I'm not sure if it's always been the case, or was recently caused by living in gloomy London, but she is pasty to the point of translucency (which I can't say is attractive). Anyway, Blythe Danner's overrated offspring aside, the movie isn't half bad. Decent story and at least one or two interesting plot twists. And of course I have no qualms with Sir Anthony or the gay cowboy formerly known as Jake Gyllenhaal.

UHF [6/10]

I hadn't watched Weird Al's magnum opus since high school, but had a feeling that it might possibly be a little dated. Well I was wrong. It's way more than a little dated - plus pretty much the only scene that I remembered and actively referenced over the years (the Rambo sequence) wasn't nearly as funny as I'd remembered it being. It has its moments though, and is probably worth a rewatch every five to seven years. [note: I was shitty drunk when I watched it]

M.A.S.H. [7/10]

I've never actually seen the television show, but even though it came first the film seems like a poor imitation. It's like watching six randomly selected episodes - you have the Pilot, the Introduction of a New Quirky Character, the Hot Lips and Frank affair, the Suicide, the Japan Trip and the completely superfluous Football Game. However, Donald Sutherland and Elliot Gould are fucking great so I cant possibly give this any less than a 7.

Gimme Shelter [2/10]

Hey, what's an even better idea than getting a bunch of Hell's Angels to provide security at a Rolling Stones concert in the early 70s? How about filming Mick Jager watching footage of the event - at which all hell breaks loose between the notoriously responsible and well-mannered bikers and some feisty dirty hippies - 30 years later, and calling it a documentary. Sound like a great idea? No. No, it doesn't. It sounds like a fucking scam.

Me You and Everyone We Know [2/10]

I watched this piece of indie crap for the first time around a year ago, and vaguely recall being thoroughly unimpressed. After slogging through half of it I thought to myself: "Wow, if the obscenely annoying main character ever directed a movie this would be it." Of course when the credits rolled I was still surprised to see that the obscenely annoying chick who played the "fictional" main character did direct the god damn thing. Oh sweet sweet irony, how I love thee. Well I guess somewhere in the past year of alcohol abuse and occasional weed smoking I must've forgotten how brutally godawful this flick actually is, because last night I was bored so i threw it on - and made it all the way to the 94 second mark before hitting eject. 94 fucking seconds! And short of physical torture, it was about as painful as 94 seconds can be.

Spinal Tap [7/10]

I know that I'm suppose to love this movie, but I just don't. And I've tried. Repeatedly. Sure I'm impressed by the fact there was no script. Sure I think it's incredibly original and well-crafted cinema. Sure it has its moments of hilarity. But scene for scene I just don't think that it's that funny. Sorry.

Winter Passing [4/10]

I knew nothing about this flick other than what I read on the back of the DVD case, but I expected it to be at least a mildly pretentious and probably rather forgettable. I was wrong on both counts. It's so horribly pretentious and cliché that I probably won't be able to forget it for quite some time. How could I forget poor wayward Zooey Daschanel who's so "numb" (Zach Braff's word, not mine) that she engages in promiscuous sex (gasp!), chronic drug use (heaven forbid!), and has to repeatedly slam her hand in drawers just to feel (give me a fuckin break). It's just a shame that Will Ferrell (at his absurdist best) and Ed Harris (at his drunken pathetic Pollackesque best) have to have their performances go for naught.

Hey Pro-Lifers, Fuck You

According to page 102 of the fifteenth edition of Gray's Anatomy - which I believe is somewhat of an authority on the matter - this mutant looking thing is the head of a human embryo at eight weeks. That's some creepy looking shit. Since all those pro-life fascists insist on marching around with placards of aborted foetuses and whatnot, I don't see why pro-choicers don't start making their own placards with pictures of this nasty fucking thing on them. They could say things like "Want this hobgoblin inside of you?" or "Not even Jesus could love something this creepy." Seriously though, that's what we all look like at eight weeks? Nasty....

Inside Man [8/10]

Look, this movie has a lot going for it: Denzel is Denzel (if there's another actor with less need for a last name I cant think of one - seriously, when was the last time you heard someone say, "Denzel Washington" in conversation?), bad ass Clive Owen (I haven't actually seen Casino Royale yet, but if they were gonna choose an ugly dude a ruggedly handsome guy to play Bond how could they not go with Clive Owen?), some great dialogue and a relatively clever heist plot. It's just too bad that the clever heist plot has to share so much screen time with the film's real theme: racial diversity and tension in the great US of fucking A. I'm fully aware that it's a Spike Lee Joint, but how does needlessly packing in all manner of racial clichés make for a good heist movie? That's right, it doesn't. The beat cop has reasons for being prejudiced? No way! The Sikh shows that racism cuts both ways? How intriguing! The white chick with big titties gets stereotyped too? How fucking sad! Sorry Spike, but if I want to be inundated with clichés then I'll throw on Crash. Oh, and don't even get me started on the music. Most of the score sounds just like that painful overly dramatic garbage that played during the absurd final sequence in 25th Hour - absolutely brutal to listen to. Of course even with all the hackneyed racial crap and shitty music, it's still a pretty damn entertaining flick.

Man on Fire [8/10]

Denzel is an alcoholic former assassin who's impervious to bullets and has a whole list of unfortunate fuckers to kill; Christopher Walken is his standard parody of himself (which at this point is all I can remember him ever being); various bad guys get their comeuppances (including one by way of the old c4 up the ass trick); the creepy acting cyborg (also known as Dakota Fanning) is mercifully absent from the second half; and Mickey Rourke is involved. There's no way this flick couldn't be great. I just really hope someone tells Tony Scot that it's possible to overuse jump cuts and shaky cam shots before he does any more needless damage to otherwise great movies.

United 93 [8/10]

I won't lie, I had almost no desire to see this film, and did so only out of some odd sense of obligation. I felt obligated not because of some nascent kernel of patriotism buried deep within my black anti-American heart, but rather I wanted to see if all the glowing reviews I'd been reading were accurate or just more bullshit patriotism. In short, I fully expected to dislike it. However, much to my surprise, I didn't. In fact, I have to say it was probably best it could have been for what it was: the first big 9/11 drama. I think the fact that the producers knew it would come under so much scrutiny might have actually helped. It pretty much stuck as close to the facts as possible (even having some of the real people play themselves), and took care not to drift into the realm of the overly melodramatic flag-waving bullshit as I'd expected. I think the biggest surprise for me was the, if not sympathetic, then at least humanising, portrayal of the hijackers. A close to perfect film - if it wasn't for all the screen time that Cal hat/flared nostrils guy had, I would have given it at least a 9.

Four Weddings and A Funeral [7/10]

I would have enjoyed it a lot more if someone other than Andie MacDowell was the Andie MacDowell character. I don't like her hair or her face, and her voice is absolutely grating. And if that's not enough, her "acting" is just painful to watch. I also realised that Kristin Scott Thomas is hot - or at least she was 12 years ago - which is my second problem. Hugh Grant doesn't even consider dating her even though she's hot, cool, in love with him and super rich. Huh? What am I missing here? Andie MacDowell and Kristin Scott Thomas should've switched roles. Although I guess that wouldn't have really solved my first problem since her hair, face, voice and "acting" would still drag the movie down a notch.

Random Thoughts

If you wanna feel bad for humanity, go hang out at Prague's main train station at one in the morning on a Monday in the middle of winter. The place is packed with the dregs of modern society: drunken homeless, crazy homeless, sleeping homeless, dancing homeless (aka priceless comic relief that made me wish I had a video camera in my mobile phone), toothless Roma whores, Roma drug dealers, degenerate gamblers perched in front of slot machines, a guy with a mole covering his entire face, and of course, proselytizing Christians. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G.....I'm gonna get business cards made to hand out to every new person I meet - they're going to read: "If you ever hear me say anything that you find even mildly offensive, please assume that I'm just joking and/or being tastelessly sarcastic." I should've done this years ago.....That reminds me of this big banner - reading: "Welcome to Belfast! (We apologise in advance)" - that I once saw upon entering a certain herein unnamed European city.....I'm pretty sure that I coined the term "Refugee Chic." I've been using it since the late 90s, and can't recall ever hearing or seeing it used by someone else. And yes, I'm incredibly proud of this (and yes, I'm fully aware of how pathetic that is)......

Borat [8/10]

Look, of course I thought it was great. I laughed my ass off in the theatre and immediately wanted to watch it again. I just wish it wasnt so hyped (and deconstructed and overly intellectualised and held up to be something that it's not). It's essentially just an extended borat sketch from "Da Ali G Show, " and has a lot more in common with Jackass than it does with meaningful political satire like Team America. I know it's possible - in fact I'd bet money that someone has already done it - to write some masters thesis on how the depiction of "the body" in Jackass reflects upon contemporary society. Give some long-winded description of a guy lighting his cock on fire, throw in some Foucault, add a line or two of original thought and give yourself a big pat on the fucking back - congratulations, you just authored some horrible post modern bullshit! I feel the same way about all these movie critic douche bags who've endlessly pontificated about Borat. Sorry to interrupt the intellectual circle jerk, but I don't think shooting 400 hours of film - mostly in the south, mind you - and getting a handful of people to say stupid, ignorant and/or slightly awkward things makes for a meaningful social commentary on America.

O Brother, Where Art Thou [6/10]

I can appreciate that it's a conceptually interesting idea to adapt the Odyssey to depression-era Mississippi, but this movie just doesn't do it for me. I think it probably has a lot to do with the fact that there's a ton of old timey music - almost none of which I can stand. Also, I'm a big George Clooney fan (Batman aside obviously), but when anyone has an accent for only 5% of their lines it always kills me. Of course John Goodman is great and Holly Hunter's lines are money, but if I find myself thinking that John Goodman and Holly Hunter are the silver lining of a Clooney movie then something is definitely amiss.

Black Hawk Down [3/10]

Since Somalia's been in the news again recently and the DVD was only Kc 30 (~$1.50) and I hadn't seen it since it first came out, I decided to give it a watch before the country faded back into obscurity for another ten years. Big mistake. Now I'm really not one to throw the race card around (and sincerely mean it), but there were so many points in this movie where I couldn't help but think (or even say out loud - and I was watching it by myself) things along the lines of: "Jesus Christ!" "No way!" "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" "Wow!" - and I really hate using exclamation marks. Ol' Ridley Scot's depiction of the Somalians is on par with the way Arabs were represented in Team America, which would be fine except for the fact that Black Hawk Down is supposed to be a true story and Team America is a fucking satirical puppet movie! Jesus Christ! In the scene where the second downed helicopter is getting swarmed by hundreds of blood thirsty Somalians - who all appear to have a bad case of "the rage" - I swear I heard one of them yelling "durkha durkha mohommad jihad." Absolutely incredible.

One More Crappy Pretentious Blog

Well, after two and a half years of arduous and incredibly time-consuming labour I think I've finally come to the realisation that the website I've spent hundreds of hours working on is not going to be making the big leap from my laptop hard drive to the internet anytime soon. [For those of you who had the pleasure of witnessing the glory that is/was nouveaubohemian.com - consider yourselves extremely privileged. For those of you who didn't, know that your life just got a little bit worse.]

Anyway, even though I have major aesthetic reservations about the word "blog," I can't deny the convenience - they're free and easy, and I'm broke and lazy. Also, I like to contribute in any way I can to Google's not-so-stealthy world takeover (since we're powerless to stop it, all we can really do it hope for a modicum of benevolence - can't be any worse than now right?)

In any event, rest assured that I will strive to make this blog as crappy and pretentious as everyone else's crappy pretentious blog (fuck, I hate that word). Also, god willing, I'll be pleasantly self-medicated a goodly portion of time - which should keep things interesting. Of course the smart money says that I'll get bored with this within the week and take it down before I even start shamelessly pimping it out via the signature line in my email.